Clearing the decks

IS THERE SOMETHING LIKE A CLEARANCE CRISIS? At least that’s what seems to be going on in my life: I am cleaning up. Not my apartment, not my desk, and nope, not my car either. It’s my head that needs a full-grown refurbishment.

I guess 26 is not an age when life is hard. Being bored at work? Nope. Marriage problems? Mh-mh. Maybe there’s not much to worry about when you’re still in your 20s. That doesn’t mean that you might get stuck sometimes, and need to dig yourself out.

Everyone has his cross to bear, and I’m ready to take some load off my shoulders. There’s a text over at Medium that explains how to decide on what (or who) to throw over board.  How do you decide what to purge? Marie has specific instructions: hold an item, carefully consider it, and ask yourself “does this bring me joy?” If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t, nix it. Seriously. That’s it. If it doesn’t, no reason to have it around.

It took me a long time to finally not only accept that, but also take action. Truth is: It’s not the number of things, people and memories that makes us happy.

So I sat down and made a list. A list of things that I always thought would bring me joy. Names, dreams, physical items, hopes, songs, memories, goals. And then I crossed out, cried the worst of tears, and crossed out. Going further, I truly separated from those points on the list. I wrote letters to people, threw things away, said goodbye to dreams. And with every step along the way, I felt better. I felt lighter, and I was able to take a deep breath without my head or heart getting in the way.

It hurts to split up, no matter what with. But it is worthwile. Because now, when OK Kid play Kaffee Warm at Dockville, I don’t cry. I dance.

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